Escape to Paradise: Quest Sanctuary Lakes Melbourne Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Quest Sanctuary Lakes Melbourne Awaits!
The (Unfiltered) Truth About… Let's Call it "The Grand Palace"
Okay, so I just got back from… well, let's just call it "The Grand Palace" for now. Trying to write this review has been an experience. Like, seriously. It's like trying to wrangle a flock of caffeinated squirrels. But, hey, here’s the (mostly) honest rundown. Because, let's be real, nobody wants a sugar-coated travel brochure.
(Metadata & SEO – Shoving them in up front, because, you know, the internet):
- Keywords: Grand Palace Hotel Review, Wheelchair Accessible Hotel, Free Wi-Fi Hotel, Luxury Spa Hotel, Asian Cuisine, Pool with a View, Family-Friendly Hotel, 24-Hour Room Service, Fitness Center, Best Hotel Deals, Meeting Facilities, Business Hotel, Couples Retreat, Accessible Dining, Anti-Viral Cleaning, Covid-Safe Hotel, Car Parking, Airport Transfer, Hotel with Sauna.
(Accessibility - The Rollercoaster of Access)
Alright, let’s rip off the band-aid first: Accessibility. This is where The Grand Palace… well, it’s a mixed bag, to put it mildly. They say they're wheelchair accessible. And yeah, there's a ramp at the entrance. Okay. But getting around the place… That's a workout in itself. Some of the corridors are a bit tight, and I spotted a few… challenging thresholds. The elevators are fine, but it felt like they prioritized style over ease of use for some of the accessible bathrooms. I mean, beautiful tile, but trying to maneuver in there? Let's just say I saw a fellow guest trying to operate the sink tap with his elbow and shoulder (probably because of the too-close placement of the grab bar!). On the plus side, they do offer accessible rooms, and the staff seems genuinely eager to help. But the execution? Room for improvement. Big time.
(On-site accessible restaurants/lounges) - Hmm. More observation is required, I'll have to check on this!
(Wheelchair accessible) - See above. Could be better.
(Internet – The Eternal Struggle)
Free Wi-fi in all rooms! YES! Praise be! And it actually worked almost all the time. Though, be warned, the signal got a little weak near the pool. (Priorities, people! Staying connected while enjoying a pool view? The horror!)
Internet [LAN]: Found this in the room but it's ancient! Who uses LAN anymore? I gave up on that, after a moment of nostalgic amusement.
Internet services: Seemed okay, but I'm not exactly tech support. Didn't try to do anything fancy, just basic browsing.
Wi-Fi in public areas: Stronger in some areas than others, but generally good enough to check emails while pretending to look important in the lobby.
(Things to Do & Ways to Relax – Spa Day Dreams and Fitness Center Fiascos)
Okay, let's talk about the good stuff.
Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: The spa? Amazing. Seriously, the staff there are fantastic. The body scrub? Pure bliss. The massage? I practically melted into the table. I could have stayed there all day. My shoulders finally relaxed after a journey of 20+ years of stress and poor posture. The sauna was hot, of course. And the steam room was… steamy. Lovely.
Pool with view: The pool view is what's in the brochures - and trust me, it's what you're paying for. Infinity edge, sun-drenched everything. Lounging there with a cocktail? Pure escape.
Fitness center: A little… compact. Okay, tiny. But enough to run on a treadmill while watching the view. There was a very enthusiastic guy trying to lift a huge weight but he kept stopping. I think he did more staring than lifting.
(Cleanliness and Safety – Sanitized or Superstitious?)
Anti-viral cleaning products: Seems like they're serious. Definitely made me feel better about things, though I'm not sure how to actually verify, just that everything smelled clean in the room, a lovely fresh odour!
Breakfast in room: A game changer!
Breakfast takeaway service: Never saw this. Didn't try it.
Cashless payment service: Smooth and easy. I like this.
Daily disinfection in common areas: Spotted it.
Doctor/nurse on call: Good to know, although I didn't go in person!
First aid kit: There.
Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. Maybe a little too much, I started to think I was at a hospital!
Hot water linen and laundry washing: I hope so, I didn't think to check!
Hygiene certification: I saw some certificates. It felt…reassuring.
Individually-wrapped food options: Yep, everything was packaged.
Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They try. Getting busy at the buffet, though.
Professional-grade sanitizing services: They claim it to be so.
Room sanitization opt-out available: Didn't notice.
Rooms sanitized between stays: Hope so!
Safe dining setup: Generally, yes.
Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Hopefully.
Shared stationery removed: Fine by me.
Staff trained in safety protocol: Seemed like it. Everyone wore masks and face shields.
Sterilizing equipment: No idea, but I assume so.
(Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – The Culinary Crucible)
A la carte in restaurant: Yes, but I mainly stuck to the buffet, which was plentiful.
Asian breakfast/cuisine in restaurant: Actually quite good! Especially the noodles. I think I had noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Bar: Good atmosphere, with excellent cocktails.
Bottle of water: Courtesy in the room, always appreciated.
Breakfast [buffet]: HUGE! And varied. You could get everything from Asian to Western, and everything in between. The pastries were a particular weakness of mine.
Breakfast service: Efficient, if a little manic at the buffet rush.
Coffee/tea in restaurant: Standard.
Coffee shop: Didn't see. Or maybe I was too busy eyeing up the pastries!
Desserts in restaurant: Divine.
Happy hour: Definitely happy.
International cuisine in restaurant: Pretty good selection. Something for everyone.
Poolside bar: Perfect for those sun-drenched cocktails, as I mentioned.
Restaurants: Several to choose from.
Room service [24-hour]: Yes! Always a bonus.
Salad in restaurant: Fresh.
Snack bar: Didn't spot one.
Soup in restaurant: Okay, I did have some, and it was soothing.
Vegetarian restaurant: Not the most obvious, but they have options at all restaurants.
Western breakfast/cuisine in restaurant: Decent.
(Services and Conveniences – The Little Things)
Air conditioning in public area: Essential.
Audio-visual equipment for special events: Definitely there.
Business facilities: Seemed decent. But I didn't have business to conduct, so can't say much.
Cash withdrawal: At the counter!
Concierge: Very helpful.
Contactless check-in/out: Yes. Fast and easy.
Convenience store: There.
Currency exchange: Simple.
Daily housekeeping: Spotless. My room was sparkling every day.
Doorman: Always welcoming, though I could never remember his name. No matter.
Dry cleaning/elevator/essential condiments/facilities for disabled guests/food delivery/gift/souvenir shop/indoor venue for special events/invoice provided/ironing service/laundry service/luggage storage/meeting/banquet facilities/meetings/meeting stationery/on-site event hosting/outdoor venue for special events/projector/LED display/safety deposit boxes/seminars/shrine/smoking area/terrace/Wi-Fi for special events/Xerox/fax in business center: Yep, these were all present.
(For the Kids – Taming Mini-Me's)
Babysitting service: Yep!
Family/child friendly: Yes, though I didn't bring any kids.
Kids facilities/Kids meal: These are present.
(Access – The Gated Community)
CCTV in common areas/CCTV outside property/Check-in/out [express]/Check-in/out [private]/Couple's room/Exterior corridor/Fire extinguisher/Front desk [24-hour]/Hotel chain/Non-smoking rooms/Pets allowed unavailable/Proposal spot/Room decorations/Safety/security feature/Security [24-hour]/Smoke alarms/Soundproof rooms: As expected.
(Getting Around – From Airport Shuttles to Taxis)
Airport transfer: Convenient.
Bicycle parking/Car park [free of charge]/Car park [on-site]/Car power charging station/Taxi service/Valet parking: Car parking was available.
(Available in all rooms – The Comforts of Home, Almost)
**Additional toilet/Air conditioning/Alarm clock/Bathrobes/Bathroom phone/Bathtub/Blackout curtains/Carpeting
Uncover Hidden Luxury: Kinparo Toyooka - Japan's Best-Kept Secret Hotel
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause we're diving headfirst into a Melbourne adventure – Quest Sanctuary Lakes style! Forget those pristine, perfectly planned itineraries. This is real life, people. With all its glorious chaos.
Day 1: Arrival, Awkward Greetings, and a Pre-emptive Coffee Crisis
Morning (8:00 AM - Ish): Land at Tullamarine Airport. Ugh, the airport. Always a sensory overload. The smell of stale coffee and desperation. Finding my way to Quest Sanctuary Lakes? Easier said than done. My GPS, bless its little silicon heart, directed me through… what seemed like an endless labyrinth of suburban streets. "Are we sure this is the right way?" I muttered to myself, starting to sweat. (Turns out, yes.)
Late Morning (10:00 AM -ish): Finally! Quest Sanctuary Lakes. The whole place has a… tranquil air? Like, a slightly forced tranquillity? I kid. Check-in. The lovely receptionist had a smile. I, on the other hand, was running on fumes and had the grace of a newborn giraffe. “Just need a coffee,” I blurted, probably way too loud. "There is a cafe." She stated. I love her voice.
Late Morning (11:00 AM): A coffee! Sweet nectar of the gods. And, wow, the view from the cafe is… amazing. Like, all the greens are so green. And the lakes are just… lakes, I guess, but still.
Afternoon (1:00 PM): Unpack! (Or, more accurately, throw my suitcase on the bed and hope for the best). The room is actually pretty decent. Balcony? Bonus! I felt a surge of optimism. Maybe this trip wouldn't be a complete disaster.
Afternoon (2:00 PM): Exploring the lake. This is where the "Sanctuary" part comes in, right? I walked along the path, feeling the sun on my face. Okay, it was nice. Peaceful. For about five minutes. Then I trip over a root, nearly taking a swan (or maybe a duck? Honestly, I'm terrible with birds) with me. My grace levels clearly need a recharge. I also realize I forgot to put sunscreen on my neck. Oops.
Evening (6:00 PM): The food? Omg. First night dinner at the hotel restaurant. I was craving something fresh and local. I went with the fish. A mistake. I mean, it was… fish. And, as I ate, I made eye contact with a couple at the table and it was a disaster. I excused myself. I decided to walk around the Sanctuary lakes to get some fresh air.
Evening (7:00 PM): A walk… again. Fresh air… again. Trying to decide where to go next. This is a problem. I am not a planner. My best travel plans start with "I want to and I need to go". I have no idea where to go.
Evening (8:00 PM): Back in the room. I'm tired. I may have overdone it at the lake and the almost-trip-over incident. I fell asleep…
Day 2: The Golfing Debacle (or, How I Learned to Loathe a Golf Course… Briefly)
Morning (7:00 AM -ish): Woke up. The sun is up. I am tired. I've decided to try the golfing thing. Yes, the plan was to try to golf today. And, yes, I've never picked up a club in my life. Pray for me.
Morning (8:00 AM -ish): Breakfast. Coffee. More coffee. The hotel has a good breakfast. Eggs, bacon, the works. This is helping. Slightly.
Morning (9:00 AM): The Golfing Debacle Begins. I managed to convince myself to go golfing. My only objective was to play golf. This went about as well as you'd expect. I spent the first hour mostly chasing the ball into the rough, muttering under my breath. The wind picked up. My swing was terrible, to the point where I was honestly questioning my physical coordination. I think I may have also accidentally sworn at a particularly persistent bush.
Late Morning (11:00 AM): Retreat. I needed a break. My ego needed a break. My arms needed a break. I "accidentally" wandered off the course and into the clubhouse. (Okay, maybe not accidentally.)
Afternoon (12:00 PM): Lunch at the clubhouse. Delicious and needed. I deserved it after my golfing humiliation. I indulged in a giant burger. (I burned no calories, I think.) I watched the pros on the TV. They looked… relaxed.
Afternoon (2:00 PM): Back to "Exploring." I took a leisurely walk, this time avoiding anything vaguely resembling a golf course. I did some people-watching, and watched the ducks in the lake. It's so relaxing
Afternoon (4:00 PM): Room time! That is my preferred option. Just chilling, watching some TV.
Evening (6:00 PM): Dinner. This time, I wanted a good meal. I chose Thai. I enjoyed the meal.
Evening (7:00 PM): Back to the room and I decide to write my journal and I fell…
Day 3: Lakeside Reflections and the Unexpected Beauty of Mundane Things
Morning (8:00 AM): Woke up feeling refreshed. Well, relatively. Maybe the coffee supply is working. Breakfast again. I am getting used to this.
Late Morning (9:00 AM): One last walk around the Sanctuary Lakes. This time, I actually stopped and looked at the view. The way the light catches the water, the birds, the quiet… It really is quite lovely. I found a bench and just sat for a while, breathing – or, a decent attempt at breathing, at least.
Late Morning (11:00 AM): My flight is at 3:00 PM. Check out time. I'm sad. I didn't do all of the things. I didn't see all the sights. I did a lot of nothing. But, I think, that's okay. I’m not sure I even needed to see sights.
Afternoon (12:00 PM): The drive to the airport. Goodbye, Quest Sanctuary Lakes. Honestly, it wasn't bad. I think I could do this again.
Afternoon (3:00 PM): At the airport. I have a croissant and a coffee. I don't want to go home. This trip wasn't perfect, but it was mine. And, honestly, that's probably the best part of any trip, isn't it? The imperfections, the unexpected moments, the utter lack of perfection or plan?
Evening (7:00 PM): Back home. Tired, but, okay. Happy.
So, you want to know about... *whispers* ...the dentist? Ugh. Right. Where to even *BEGIN*?
What exactly *IS* a dental cleaning? (Besides the bane of my existence).
I’ll be honest, I usually grip the armrests of the chair so hard my knuckles turn white. My dentist probably thinks I'm about to bolt for the door. Which, admittedly, I’ve *almost* done. Once. (More on that later…)
Does it hurt? Be honest, now. *Please*.
Those "sensitive teeth" warnings I always get? Yeah, they're *real*. And they're the bane of my existence. And, let’s be real, a good hygienist will ask, "Does this hurt?" But 9 times out of 10, before I can even process what's happening in response to seeing her approaching with the *scary hook of doom*, my mouth is full of water, my eyes are watering, and I'm trying to make some form of vague head gesture towards "NO PAIN!!!". It is a skill. A delicate dance. I'm not very good.
What about X-rays? Why do they *always* want to take X-rays?
I'll tell you what else they do - they take *forever* to get the perfect angle! Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be stuck in the machine for the rest of my life. Radiation, radiation, radiation... but hey, at least they "help" find stuff, right? Like... cavities. Yay.
Okay, okay, let's talk about fillings. What's *that* like?
I actually had a *horrific* filling experience once. It's a story I still can't tell without my heart rate spiking. I was young, maybe 12. And the dentist... bless his heart, he was a kindly old gentleman, but his hands? Let’s just say they weren't as steady as they should have been. He drilled, and he drilled, and then... the drill *slipped*. Right into my tongue! (I know, I know, it's like something out of a horror film!).
I screamed. My mother *screamed*. He apologized profusely. I got a lifetime pass on dental anxiety. I’m STILL jumpy about drills. That was… what? Thirty years ago? Yeah… I still get shivers. No more details. Moving on.
How do I, you know... *cope* with this dentist thing?
Actually, I once brought my husband to a cleaning. Which, in retrospect, may have been a mistake. He’s a worrier. He spent the entire time hovering. Asking the hygienist questions. Making sympathetic noises. I swear, he looked more traumatized than I did! I’d suggest it… *maybe*… but there’s a high risk of it backfiring.
Otherwise, deep breaths. Maybe treat yourself to something nice afterwards. Like ice cream. Or a stiff drink, depending on how bad the experience was. (I'm leaning towards the latter.)
Is it really *that* important to go to the dentist? (I mean, besides the obvious…)
Anything else I should know?
Post a Comment for "Escape to Paradise: Quest Sanctuary Lakes Melbourne Awaits!"