Unbelievable Alpenhotel Fernau: Your Austrian Dream Escape Awaits!
Unbelievable Alpenhotel Fernau: Your Austrian Dream Escape Awaits!
Unbelievable Alpenhotel Fernau: My Austrian Dream (Almost) Come True! - A Messy Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I’m about to spill the Schnitzel on the Alpenhotel Fernau. They bill themselves as the ultimate Austrian Dream Escape, and honestly, some parts were close. Utterly close. Others? Well, let's just say they provided ample comedic fodder. This is not a sugar-coated brochure, this is a real-life, slightly chaotic, and hopefully helpful, review.
(SEO & Metadata Jargon incoming! Brace yourselves!)
Keywords: Alpenhotel Fernau, Austria, Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Family-Friendly, Stubaital, Skiing, Luxury Hotel, Wellness, Free Wi-Fi, Wheelchair Accessible, Hiking, Mountain Views, Austrian Alps, Breakfast Buffet, Spa/Sauna, Family Vacation, Couples Retreat, Pet-Friendly (Sort of!), [Insert Hotel Specific Keywords like "Fernau" or "Stubai Glacier"]
Metadata Description: A brutally honest and hilarious review of the Alpenhotel Fernau in Austria. Covering everything from the stunning views to the slightly-too-enthusiastic staff, and every little thing in between. Find out if this hotel is really your Austrian dream! Includes accessibility tips, food reviews, and a general sense of delightful chaos.
(END SEO JARGON - Phew!)
Let's dive in, shall we? First off, the location. Holy moly. Jaw-dropping views of the Stubai Valley. Mountain vistas that made me literally gasp. Seriously, I spent the first hour just leaning on my balcony, muttering "wow" like a broken record. It’s easy to see why they slap "Your Austrian Dream Escape" on their marketing - the setting is undeniably dreamy.
Accessibility:
This is where things get… complex. They tout accessibility, and they do have some facilities. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, parts are. The lobby and main restaurant are good, and there's an elevator (thank GOD, because those stairs are brutal after a day of skiing). But navigating the spa? Ugh. That was a bit of a struggle, with narrow corridors and awkward turns. Facilities for disabled guests? Yes, but I'd call and get very specific about your needs before you book. Seriously, call. Don’t rely on the website’s promises.
On-site accessible restaurants/lounges: The main restaurant? Check. Others? Depends on the day and the staff availability (I swear, one day the lift magically disappeared when I wanted to go upstairs).
Rooms & Amenities (The Good, the Bad, and the Slightly Bizarre):
- Available in all rooms: Okay, essential stuff first. Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Hair dryer (a lifesaver!), Mini-bar (thank you, sweet wine!), Free Wi-Fi (THANK YOU, this is a MUST), In-room safe box, Desk, Coffee/tea maker, and the glorious Bathtub.
- Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms! YES! I’m a social media addict, sue me. The Wi-Fi was generally reliable, which is a huge win for a mountain resort.
- Internet [LAN]: They also have LAN access (for you dinosaurs out there!).
- Extra long bed: Bliss! Finally, a bed that actually fits me.
- Separate shower/bathtub: Luxury! I luxuriated. For hours.
- Non-smoking rooms: THANK THE HEAVENS. (Especially after that one time a neighbor’s… ahem… "aroma" wafted under my door).
- Bathroom Phone - yes, I called my cat from Austria. Don't judge me.
- Towels: Fluffy. Very good.
- Bathrobes and Slippers: Added bonus points for cozy factor.
- Window that opens: Fresh mountain air! A necessity.
- Complimentary tea & Free bottled water: Needed after a sauna visit.
- Daily housekeeping: Excellent!
- Blackout curtains: For sleeping in.
The Quirks: My room had a mirror in the bathroom phone. I spent a good five minutes wondering if that was some kind of next-level spy technology. And another thing: the Safety/security feature, yes, but what about the Security Alarm Clock that woke me up at 4am? Not cool.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - A Culinary Rollercoaster:
- Breakfast [buffet]: The star! The breakfast buffet was epic. Honestly, I could have skipped lunch and dinner every day and just grazed at the buffet. Buffet in restaurant, Western breakfast, Asian Breakfast (yes, really!), Coffee/tea in restaurant, Juices, Bread, Sausage Every form of deliciousness you could imagine. The selection blew my mind. I overate daily. I have no regrets.
- A la carte in restaurant: Excellent quality!
- Bar: Always open for a quick drink after a long hike!
- Asian Cuisine in restaurant: Very good! The Asian-inspired dishes were a welcome change from the heavier Austrian fare.
- Restaurants: Plural! Always a good sign!
- Room service [24-hour]: Perfect for those late-night snack attacks.
- Snack bar: Convenient for a quick bite during the day.
- Coffee shop: Good coffee, and essential caffeine fix!
WARNING: The restaurants tend to close early on the weekends. The staff would tell you, but only after you've already gone to the restaurant and walked into a locked door.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax - A Spa-tastic Experience (Mostly):
- Pool with view: AMAZING. Infinity pool overlooking the mountains. This is, hands down, a major highlight. I spent hours just floating and staring at the scenery. Pure bliss.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Another pool! More options for sunbathing!
- Spa I was pretty happy with the spa, I spent some time there with friends.
- Sauna, Spa/sauna: Heaven on Earth. The sauna experience was authentic. I loved the sauna ritual with the infused steam and the ice bucket challenge!
- Steamroom: Steam always feels nice!
- Massage: Worth it. Treat yourself.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I mean, I intended to use the gym…but then the pool beckoned.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Luxury!
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Sterilizing equipment: I felt very safe.
My Epic (and Slightly Tragic) Spa Day:
Okay, so here's the story of my Spa Day, which perfectly sums up the Alpenhotel Fernau experience. I booked a massage, a facial, and decided to brave the "Alpine Glow" body wrap. I was pumped. Picture perfect day – crisp air, blue sky, and a massage table calling my name.
The massage therapist was lovely, a sweet woman who had a firm, yet gentle, touch. The facial was… okay. Nothing to write home about. But the body wrap, oh, the body wrap. They lathered me in some kind of mud that smelled faintly of pine needles and, apparently, was supposed to make me glow.
I was left to bake in the wrap for what felt like an eternity. Then, I was ushered into a private shower room, where the adventure truly began. The shower controls were… baffling. I fiddled with them for a solid five minutes, struggling to get any water to come out. Finally, a trickle of lukewarm water emerged. Progress!
Then, the water pressure died.
I spent the next ten minutes, practically vibrating with frustration, trying to rinse off the mud while a single, pathetic stream of water dribbled over me. It was a scene worthy of a slapstick comedy. Eventually, I gave up, covered myself in a towel, and ran out of the shower room looking like a disgruntled swamp monster.
Why am I telling you this? Because it’s real. Not everything is perfect. It was hilarious in retrospect, and it makes for a good story. And hey, even the imperfect experiences can be memorable.
Cleanliness & Safety (The Important Stuff):
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Sterilizing equipment: These are essential now and the Alpenhotel Fernau does it well. I felt safe.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Yes on that one.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere.
- Cashless payment service: Convenient, and essential during the pandemic, for sure.
Services & Conveniences - A Mixed Bag:
- Concierge: Helpful, but sometimes a little… slow.
- Daily housekeeping: Excellent.
- Elevator: Essential.
- **Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're diving headfirst into a trip to Alpenhotel Fernau in Neustift im Stubaital, Austria… and it's gonna be a rollercoaster. Prepare for the gloriously messy, the hilariously incompetent, and the downright real.
Alpenhotel Fernau: My Mountain Mishap-Adventure (Because Let's Be Honest, Perfection is Boring)
Day 1: Arrival and Altitude Anxiety (and a Really Ugly Hat)
- Flight: Ugh, flying. That cramped torture chamber in the sky. I swear, the air smells of stale pretzels and existential dread. Made it, though! After a layover in Frankfurt that felt like an eternity spent trapped in a beige-carpeted purgatory.
- Arrival at Innsbruck Airport: Okay, so, finding the shuttle… easier said than done. My German is about as fluent as a grumpy toddler. Eventually, after much gesturing and a near-meltdown involving a particularly aggressive suitcase, I located the Fernau shuttle. Success! Kinda.
- The Drive: The scenery! Majestic, breathtaking… and making my ears pop like crazy. Altitude sickness is a real thing, people. I felt like I'd swallowed a balloon and it was slowly inflating in my brain. Swallowed, what, 4 pieces of gum?
- Alpenhotel Fernau Check-In: The hotel itself is… charming. Think cozy, with a healthy dose of "grandmother's house, but make it mountains". The staff is lovely, though. Except maybe the woman who sold me a truly hideous, neon-green knitted hat at the local shop. I mean, it’s functional, I’ll give it that, but it looks like a radioactive alien has sprouted from my head. Pray for me.
- Room Inspection: Balcony? Check. Stunning views? Check. Lack of a mini-bar? WHAT?! This is a tragedy. How am I supposed to survive the evening without a tiny bottle of something overpriced and slightly weird? Time for immediate action. I shall march on the reception and rectify this situation.
- Dinner: Oh. My. God. The food. It was a buffet. Okay, now, I'm not the biggest fan of buffets in general. But this one? This one was AMAZING! Huge variety! Honestly, It's dangerous, the amount of calories that I consumed. I'm blaming the altitude. And the fact that the schnitzel was calling my name. And the apple strudel. Oh, the apple strudel. I think I may have eaten three pieces. ( Don't judge me.) I am going straight in my bed once it's all over.
- Bedtime: Tried to fall asleep, but the mountain air makes me wide awake. Staring out the window at the stars, feeling unbelievably small and ridiculously happy. The oxygen is a bit thin though, and I felt like I was suffocating.
Day 2: Hiking, Humiliation, and a Hot Tub Heroine (Me, Obviously)
- Breakfast: More amazing food, another round of trying and failing to understand the German labels, and a surge of optimism because it was sunny. The coffee was terrible. The end.
- Hiking Attempt: I decided I would become a mountain goat. Or at least, a moderately competent walker of trails. Let's just say, my coordination doesn't hold up so well in the mountains. I managed to trip over absolutely nothing, nearly took out a family of bewildered Germans, and ended up sliding down a small incline on my backside. Dignity? Gone. Also, my neon-green hat nearly blew away, almost becoming a permanent fixture on the mountain landscape. (I'm starting to bond with the hat. Sad, I know.) But! The views! Even from a slightly bruised position, they were incredible!
- Lunch: Thankfully, I was able to stop in a small hut and replenish on sustenance. There was no judging there.
- Spa Time: This is where it gets good. The hotel spa is a sanctuary. The hot tub was perfect, steamy, bubbly heaven. At one point, a tiny woman with a very serious face tried to get me to understand the rules. I was able to communicate to her that I am a simpleton, and I was allowed in.
- Dinner (And the Aftermath of Too Much Wine): The food was amazing (again, shocker). And I made a grave error. I am not sure, what came over me. A full bottle of wine. This is when things got blurry. I vaguely remember attempting to sing Karaoke with some other guests. Apparently, my rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" was "memorable." (I think that might be code for "horrific.") I also may or may not have tried to learn how to yodel. Let's just say, the mountains are very, very quiet tonight.
- Bedtime: Head throbbing, stomach churning. Note to self: less wine. Much less wine.
Day 3: Glacier-Gazing, Unexpected Tears, and Farewell (For Now)
- Breakfast: Regret. So much regret. And a strong coffee.
- Stubai Glacier: Today was the day. The glacier! Incredible. The air was crisp, the snow sparkled, and the views… otherworldly. It makes you realize how small we are, really. This made me emotional. I teared up! (Probably also the altitude).
- Farewell Dinner: The last supper. The hotel staff was kind enough to ignore the fact that I spent the entire time in the hat. I felt a pang of sadness. Austria, you beautiful, messy, imperfect place, I am gonna miss you.
- Departure: One last look at the mountains, one last deep breath of that clean alpine air. Goodbye, Alpenhotel Fernau. Until next time, may your apple strudel always be abundant!
This trip was a mess. I fell. I ate too much. I was emotional. But honestly? It was glorious. Because real life is messy, and funny, and full of moments that make you feel everything all at once. And that's what I'll remember.
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Unbelievable Alpenhotel Fernau: Your Austrian Dream Escape...Maybe? (Let's Be Real Here)
Is the view *actually* as breathtaking as the photos? Because, let's be honest, Instagram is full of lies.
Okay, buckle up, because this is where it gets real. The view? Yeah, it's mostly as stunning as the photos. Emphasis on *mostly*. Sometimes, you wake up to a glorious, sun-drenched vista of the Stubai Alps, and you're like, "This is it. This is why I do life." I actually *cried* the first morning (don't judge, jet lag is a beast) because it was so unbelievable. But then there's the other days. Cloudy days. Days when the fog rolls in and you can barely see your own hand. Those days? They're a bit less "postcard perfect" and a bit more "where's the schnapps?" But even then, there's a certain… *mood*. A cozy sort of feeling, like you're tucked away in a secret mountain kingdom, and that's pretty cool too. Don't expect perfection 24/7, because, well, nature. She's a fickle mistress, and sometimes she's just plain *moody*.
Tell me about the food. Is it just endless sausages and sauerkraut? (Please tell me it's not.)
Alright, listen up because food is *critical*. Sausage and sauerkraut? Yes, it's there. And thank god. Because good sausage and sauerkraut is a gift from the gods, especially after a day on the slopes, and the Apfelstrudel the also made with local apples and the right amount of cinnamon, and it's just… *chef's kiss*. But! It's not *all* that. The Alpenhotel Fernau (and this is a massive plus) has amazing regional cuisine with daily specials that honestly blew me away. One night I had the most tender roasted venison with red cabbage – I practically licked the plate clean. They do a great job using fresh, local ingredients. The breakfasts are a buffet of dreams, with everything from cheeses (so many cheeses!) to fresh bread, and I may or may not have eaten my weight in yogurt. Seriously, the breakfast is a lifesaver after a somewhat…aggressive night of schnapps-fueled karaoke (more on that later). The only slight negative (and this is just a me thing) is that the portions are…generous. Be prepared to loosen your belt a notch or two.
What are the rooms like? Are they modern and sleek, or like, grandma's attic?
The rooms? They are a *mix*. Think Austrian charm meets… well, you know. Some rooms are definitely more updated than others. I lucked out and got a room with a balcony and a pretty sweet view, and it was spacious and beautifully decorated with wood panels, and cozy, and totally charming... which is a word that can also mean 'slightly old school'. We're not talking minimalist chic here; there's a definite "Alpine lodge" vibe. Some rooms might feel a little more "vintage," but honestly, that's part of the charm. Plus, the beds are ridiculously comfortable, and that's the most important thing, right? Just don't expect a super-modern, minimalist experience. Embrace the cozy, the slightly dated, and the fact that you're in the heart of the Alps, surrounded by history and tradition. Also, the water pressure in the shower was *amazing*. Like, face-blasting amazing. Seriously, that's a win in my book.
What is there to do besides, you know, just *look* at the mountains?
Okay, so the mountains are fantastic, but staring at them all day does get old. (Just kidding...mostly). Winter brings skiing, snowboarding, and all that snowy goodness. The hotel is super close to the slopes, which is a massive win. The Stubaier Glacier is impressive if you're hardcore, but also you can also just be there. Spring, summer, and autumn are for hiking, mountain biking (I'm terrible at mountain biking, by the way, so I may have spent a good deal of the time on my backside), and exploring the surrounding valleys. They even have a sauna and a spa, which… let’s just say I became *very* acquainted with. Especially after that slightly embarrassing mountain biking incident. And you can always just chill and read a book by the fireplace. Oh! and the hotel organizes some activities like guided hikes, which is also great.
Speaking of activities, what about the nightlife at the hotel? Is it a party scene, or more… cozy?
Cozy. Definitely cozy. Unless *you* are the party. There's a bar in the hotel, and it's very… Austrian. Think wood paneling, friendly staff, and more beer and schnapps than you can shake a ski pole at. It doesn't get outrageously wild, but it definitely has a good atmosphere on the weekends when there's some local live music - which can be very fun. The karaoke night, though? That's the thing you remember. You'll either love it or hate it. I, admittedly, loved it, and I’m not a karaoke person, by any stretch. Because you know, schnapps! And singing along to German pop classics. It was… an experience. Let's just leave it at that. The next morning was a little rough, let me tell you. So yeah, expect fun and good times, but don't expect Ibiza. Unless *you* bring the Ibiza. I do recommend checking with the hotel beforehand as to activities, because, for me, it's not a matter of if you're going to do karaoke... but when!
How's the service? Are the staff friendly and helpful?
The staff? They're *lovely*. Genuinely, genuinely lovely. They’re all super friendly, helpful, and efficient. They seem to genuinely enjoy helping people. They speak multiple languages and went out of their way to accommodate my (many) requests. I am seriously impressed. They’ll give you hiking advice, book taxis, and generally make you feel welcome. Oh, and they have an absolutely *killer* sense of humor. Like I said with the karaoke, they know how to have a good time. There's a certain warmth and genuine hospitality that makes the Alpenhotel Fernau really special. You won’t feel like just another tourist, you’ll feel like a guest. A guest who's about to be fed an incredible meal and maybe, just maybe, be convinced to sing some questionable karaoke. I really have to give a shout out to the front desk, who managed to sort out my lost luggage (thanks, Lufthansa!), and also the bartenders, who managed to tolerate my attempts to speak German. They are absolutely wonderful.
Okay, so, would you recommend the Alpenhotel Fernau? Be honest.
Honestly? Yes. A resounding yes. But with a few caveats. If you're looking for ultra-modern, sterile perfection, maybe this isn’t your vibe. If you're all about the party scene, maybe look for somewhere with a bit more… action (though, again, the karaoke might appeal to you).Rimini's Hidden Gem: Hotel Belvedere - Unforgettable Italian Escape
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