Escape to Paradise: Pateke Lodge's Unforgettable Kerikeri Retreat
Escape to Paradise: Pateke Lodge's Unforgettable Kerikeri Retreat
Escape to Paradise: Pateke Lodge - Kerikeri's Secret Slice of Heaven… or is it? (An Unfiltered Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unleash the raw, unfiltered truth about Pateke Lodge in Kerikeri. Forget those glossy brochure descriptions – this is the real deal, warts and all. I'm talking about the kind of review that makes you feel like you're chatting over a cuppa, not reading some robotic travel article.
SEO & Metadata, because apparently, the internet runs the world (and my travel bookings):
- Keywords: Pateke Lodge, Kerikeri, New Zealand, Bay of Islands, luxury retreat, spa, accessible, pool, restaurant, WiFi, reviews, accommodation, NZ, Northland, holiday, getaway, vacation, romantic, family, business, travel.
- Meta Description: Unfiltered review of Pateke Lodge in Kerikeri, NZ. Discover the highs & lows of this luxury retreat – from the spa to the accessibility, the food to the Wi-Fi. Get honest insights & decide: is it paradise?
First Impressions & Accessibility: A Stairway to…Well, Somewhere
Let's be honest, the drive to Pateke Lodge had me buzzing with anticipation. Kerikeri itself is gorgeous, all rolling hills and that distinct Northland vibe. The lodge? Well, the first hurdle was the driveway. Steep. Seriously steep. Now, for a healthy, able-bodied person like myself (mostly!), it's a minor inconvenience. But this is where the accessibility angle starts to rear its head.
Accessibility: Pateke Lodge says it has facilities for disabled guests. But the devil, as they say, is in the details. While the reception area seemed relatively accessible (no crazy obstacles like stairs), the overall layout felt…complicated. Navigating the grounds, with its various levels and potential for steep inclines, felt less like a walk in the park and more like a gentle hike through a very pretty, yet somewhat challenging, obstacle course. Would it be a struggle for someone in a wheelchair? Potentially, yes. Definitely check and double-check beforehand.
A minor digression: I recall seeing an elderly couple struggling with their luggage, the husband huffing and puffing as they hauled a suitcase up a small flight of stairs. Made me think…is this REALLY suitable for everyone?
Room with a View (and Maybe a Few Quirks)
My room? Ah, my room. Let me paint a picture. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. Basically, it was a luxurious little cocoon. I'm a sucker for a good view, and the view from my window, over the pool and towards the lush Kerikeri landscape, was stellar.
The good: The bed was ridiculously comfy. Like, melt-into-it comfy. I practically sunk into the extra-long mattress. The bathrobes? Plush paradise. And the free Wi-Fi? Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yes, please! Fast, reliable, and crucial for someone like me, who is constantly attached to their Instagram.
The not-so-good: The bathroom phone? A little… dated. And the décor, while undeniably elegant, felt a touch stuffy. Maybe it's just me, but I like a bit more personality, a touch more… je ne sais quoi. However, it was clean. Spotlessly clean. Which is a HUGE win in my book.
Bonus Story: On my first night, I accidentally locked myself out on the balcony! Let's just say I was slightly mortified, standing there in my bathrobe, trying to jimmy the door with a pen. Luckily, the rescue operation (thanks, amazing staff!) was quick and discreet.
Spa-rty Time! Relaxation (and a Few Missteps)
Ah, the spa. This is where Pateke Lodge really ups the ante. Spa, Spa/sauna – they have the works: Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage, Sauna, Steamroom.
I opted for a massage, and honestly, it was divine. One of the best I've ever had. The therapist was skilled, the room was dimly lit, and the essential oils were heavenly. pure zen.
Here's the messy part: The spa area itself. While beautiful, it felt a little…crowded. It was a bit of a free-for-all on my first visit, the general vibe of blissful relaxation was somewhat shattered by the loud chatter of some other guests. And, again, the accessibility factor. Getting around the spa wasn’t as easy as it could have been. Some ramps and wider doors might have been appreciated.
Poolside Bliss (and a Tempting Poolside Bar)
Swimming pool [outdoor], Pool with view: The outdoor pool is stunning. A real showstopper. The "pool with a view" is no exaggeration, the pool feels like an extension of the landscape. I spent a good portion of my stay lounging poolside, sipping cocktails and soaking up the sun. pure bliss.
Bonus: The Poolside bar was a highlight! Poolside bar - The bartenders knew their stuff. The happy hour was a godsend! Happy hour - The drinks weren't cheap, but the quality was undeniable. I happily over-indulged in a few mojitos!
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: Food Glorious Food (Mostly)
Okay, let's talk food. This is where things got a little… mixed. Pateke Lodge offers a whole host of dining options. A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant.
The Good: The breakfast buffet was impressive! A huge spread of Breakfast [buffet] - I was particularly impressed with the fresh fruit and the pastries. Dinner at the main restaurant was mostly excellent, with a focus on fresh, local ingredients.
The Not-So-Good: The Room service [24-hour] menu was somewhat limited. and a bit overpriced. The coffee from the coffee shop was occasionally lukewarm and the soup was a letdown one evening.
Quirky Observation: I swear, I saw a couple of people taking multiple trips to the buffet, piling their plates sky-high. No judgment, I'm just saying…
Services & Conveniences: The Little Extras that Make a Difference (or Not)
Pateke Lodge offers a plethora of services. Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center:
The Daily housekeeping was impeccable. The staff were efficient and friendly. The Concierge was helpful in recommending local activities (which, let's be honest, Kerikeri has in abundance).
The downside: My visit coincided with a minor power outage( not the lodges fault, I may add). This caused a slight disruption in some of the services .
Cleanliness & Safety: Sanitized, But Not Always Seamless
In the current climate, clean and safe is a top priority. Pateke Lodge takes this seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment. The emphasis on cleanliness was clear, and I felt safe throughout my stay.
However: While the measures were comprehensive, I did notice in a public area a few hand sanitizer bottles without refills, which is a minor detail that could be improved upon.
Unbelievable Treebo Elite Deal in Belgaum, India! Book Now!
Pateke Lodge: Kerikeri, You Beautiful Mess (A Hilariously Imperfect Itinerary)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your perfectly polished travel blog. This is the real deal, a sweaty, slightly-hungover, and utterly honest account of my Pateke Lodge Kerikeri adventure. Expect tangents, expect questionable decisions, and expect the occasional existential crisis prompted by a particularly stunning sunset. Let's go!
Day 1: Arrival & "Oh My God, I Need Wine"
- 1:00 PM: Arrive Auckland Airport. The flight was… well, it was a flight. Trapped in a metal tube with recycled air and questionable legroom. Note to self: Invest in noise-canceling headphones. Seriously.
- 1:30 PM: Grab the rental car. It’s a little… compact. Named her "Brenda." Brenda and I are going to see New Zealand. Wish us luck.
- 4:00 PM: Drive to Kerikeri. The scenery! Holy moly. Rolling green hills, sheep looking suspiciously judgmental, and the occasional burst of vibrant flowers. Brenda struggles up the hills, sigh.
- 6:00 PM: Arrive at Pateke Lodge. Okay, wow. Pictures don't do this place justice. It's like a fairytale cottage, but with a proper kitchen (essential). The staff are lovely, all smiles and genuine warmth. Already feeling a million times better.
- 6:30 PM: Unpack (kinda). Realized I forgot my toothbrush charger. Facepalm. This is going to be a recurring theme, I feel it.
- 7:00 PM: Settle in. Pour a glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. Seriously, someone needs to patent this stuff. It's practically sunshine in a bottle.
- 7:30 PM - 9.00 PM: Walk to the Kerikeri Basin. The first mission is to visit the Stone Store, the oldest building! But got sidetracked by the beauty of the riverside and the smell of the ocean. I mean, it's gorgeous. The architecture is amazing. Everything about this place feels like a hug. Finished the bottle.
- 9:00 PM: Dinner at [restaurant name]. The food was good - the local fish was a must and the desserts are just something else!
- 9:30 PM: Crash in bed. I woke up at 5:00 AM today so I am going to be tired.
Day 2: The Perfect Bay and the Bay of Islands
- 8:00 AM: Wake up after a wonderful 8 hours sleep. Breakfast at the lodge: The homemade muesli is incredible. Seriously, I need the recipe.
- 9:00 AM: Head towards Paihia. This is where things got REAL interesting. The plan was a boat trip to the Bay of Islands, but I’m pretty sure I underestimated the sheer volume of tourists.
- 9:30 AM: Found a perfect bay to have a swim - this place is an oasis. A dip in the water, sun tanning, and enjoying the warmth of the sun.
- 11:00 AM: A boat tour of the Bay of Islands. Dolphin watching! I may have shed a tear of pure joy when a pod of dolphins swam alongside the boat. They're just so… playful. I want to be a dolphin now.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch on Urupukapuka Island. The most beautiful white sand beach ever. The food? Basic, honestly, but who cares when you’re surrounded by that kind of beauty? Sunburn creeping in. Applied more sunscreen and took some more photos.
- 3:00 PM: Back to Pateke Lodge.
- 5:00 PM: Enjoyed the afternoon sun with a book and a cup of tea.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the lodge.
- 8:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 3: Waterfall Whispers and Culinary Adventures
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast. Muesli again (yes!). Planning my day, which basically means staring at the map and getting overwhelmed by choices. But hey, that’s part of the fun, right?
- 9:00 AM: Drive to Rainbow Falls (Waianiwaniwa). The waterfall is spectacular, and the walk through the lush forest is seriously magic. I stood there for like, ten minutes just listening to the water.
- 10:00 AM: Explored the forest - spent some time at the water, dipped my feet in the cool stream.
- 12:00 AM: Lunch at [restaurant name]. After much deliberation, I went for [dish]. It was a gamble and it paid off! Local, fresh, and damn delicious.
- 1:00 PM: The Kerikeri area farms! Headed to a local farm and tried the produce.
- 3:00 PM: Headed to the hotel.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the lodge.
- 8:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 4: Farewell Kerikeri (and the impending sadness)
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the lodge.
- 9:00 PM: Last walk around the town - the smell of the ocean and the air.
- 11:00 AM: Drive to the airport.
- 1:00 PM: Bye Kerikeri! Thank you.
Post-Trip Thoughts (aka, The Emotional Fallout):
Okay, so I’m home now, and I’m already planning my return. Pateke Lodge, Kerikeri, I love you. I mean, I really, really love you. Yes, I forgot my toothbrush charger (still!), but the beauty, the food, the people, the dolphins… It all made it worth it. This trip wasn’t perfect, it was probably a bit messy, but it was real. And sometimes, those are the best kinds. Kerikeri, you glorious, slightly chaotic, and utterly unforgettable experience. I'll be back. You can count on it.
P.S. Keep your eyes peeled for more random notes and observations about Brenda, the rental car, and my ongoing struggle with remembering to pack a charger!
Dunnock Square: Delhi's Hidden Gem Near India Expo Mart!
Escape to Paradise: Pateke Lodge FAQs (Because I *KNOW* you have questions)
Okay, so... Kerikeri? Pateke Lodge? What's the REAL deal? Is it *ACTUALLY* paradise?
The Lodge itself... what's the vibe? Is it all stiff upper lip and silver service, or can I, you know, *relax*?
Breakfast. You mentioned breakfast. Spill. What's the deal?
The location! Kerikeri's pretty, but is it *convenient*? Is it a pain to get to everything?
I'm a solo traveler... is this a place for me? or am I going to feel awkward?
What about the *little* things? What REALLY makes Pateke Lodge special?
Any downsides? Like, REAL downsides? Because, let's be honest, nothing's perfect.
So, you're telling me... book it?
Post a Comment for "Escape to Paradise: Pateke Lodge's Unforgettable Kerikeri Retreat"