Escape to Paradise: River Cree Resort & Casino Edmonton Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: River Cree Resort & Casino Edmonton Awaits!
Escape to Paradise? River Cree Resort & Casino, Edmonton: A Honest (and Slightly Chaotic) Review!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving deep into the River Cree Resort & Casino. This ain't just any hotel review; this is a therapy session disguised as a travel blog. I'm still unpacking the emotional baggage, the memories, and the slightly-sticky-from-that-poolside-drink feel of the whole experience. Let's get messy!
The Hook: So, Paradise…?
The website promised "Paradise." Did I find it? Well, let's just say it was more like a slightly chaotic slice of Canadian charm with a healthy dose of… casino. The "escape" part? Absolutely. The "paradise" part? Jury's still out, folks. But hey, that's what makes life interesting, right?
Accessibility: Can You Roll With It?
Okay, important first impressions. I’m a big fan of hotels that actually think about accessibility. From what I saw, River Cree seems to be making a good effort. Wheelchair accessible areas were obvious, and the elevators were thankfully not playing hide-and-seek. I did see a few folks using mobility aids, so that's a good sign. I didn't personally use a wheelchair, but the ramps and elevators looked well-maintained.
Food Glorious Food (and the Occasional Bellyache) - Dining, Drinking, and Snacking:
This is where things get… interesting. The sheer volume of options blew my mind. There's a bar, a buffet, restaurants galore! I felt like a kid in a candy store, except the candy was… well, potentially a slightly overcooked steak.
- Restaurants: A la carte options were available, which is always a plus. The Western cuisine was… fine? Nothing to write home about, but edible. The Asian cuisine was a bit more exciting. I had some sushi that was surprisingly good – considering I was practically in the middle of Alberta!
- Buffet: Oh, the buffet. A temptation, a siren song, a greasy spoon of dreams (and regrets). The breakfast buffet was… well, it was a buffet. You know the drill. Pancakes, questionable bacon, and a strong coffee. I remember vividly getting a massive plate, promising myself I'd only eat a little… then devouring everything. Don't judge me! The buffet in restaurant was a bit less to write home about.
- Poolside Bar: This is where I committed a serious sin. I ordered a fruity cocktail. It was… a touch too sweet. I'm pretty sure my teeth started to hurt just looking at it. But hey, it was a beautiful day, and I was lounging by the pool, so I'm not complaining. Just… maybe order something with less sugar.
- Coffee shop: I practically lived in the coffee shop. Needed that caffeine fix after the nights spent… you know… nearby the casino.
- Snack Bar: Perfect for late-night cravings. I'm pretty sure I got a sandwich there at 2 AM once. No regrets.
- Room service [24-hour]: Bless them. Absolute saviors. Pizza at 3 am? Sure thing! A little pricey, but what are you gonna do?
Cleanliness and Safety: Did They Sanitize the Heck Out of Everything?
Alright, pandemic times. I paid close attention here. The resort appeared to take COVID precautions seriously. Hand sanitizer was plentiful. I saw staff diligently cleaning, and the daily disinfection in common areas seemed to be a thing. Individually-wrapped food options were the norm at the buffet. I felt reasonably safe, despite my inherent paranoia. The fact that staff was trained in safety protocol was a huge plus.
Things to Do (Besides Gambling):
Okay, let's face it: the casino is the elephant in the room. But there’s more!
- Ways to Relax: The spa was… decent. I opted for a massage, which was exactly what I needed after a long day of… uh… sightseeing. They offered Body scrub, Body wrap, - but I was too chicken. The sauna was a nice touch, but I'm not sure I got it completely right.
- Swimming pool: The Swimming pool [outdoor] was actually pretty cool, and the Pool with view was almost Instagram-worthy. The water was a little on the chilly side, but the sunshine made up for it.
- Fitness center: The Gym/fitness was… well, it existed. I didn’t actually use it, but hey, it's there if you're feeling virtuous.
Rooms: The Home Away From Home (or, Maybe, a Hotel Room)
The rooms? Pretty standard hotel fare. Here’s the breakdown:
- Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, thank God. Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Coffee/tea maker (essential), Hair dryer, Ironing facilities etc., etc. you get the drill.
- Free Wi-Fi [free]: Yay! Although the internet speed was a bit like a snail on molasses.
- Non-smoking: THANK YOU!
- Air conditioning in the room was great
- Internet access [LAN]: You can't be serious with this one!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter:
- Concierge: Helpful. Asked them about local attractions and they were actually pretty good.
- Elevator: Necessary!
- Business facilities: They have a business center which is pretty standard.
- Cash withdrawal: Always useful.
- Luggage storage: Helpful.
- Daily housekeeping: My room was clean when I got there.
- Food delivery
For the Kids: Family-Friendly or Just Tolerant?
I didn't have kids with me, but the Family/child friendly rating seems about right. The Kids meal options looked decent.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy?
- Car park [free of charge]: They have a huge car park.
- Car park [on-site]: Definitely recommend driving!
- Airport transfer: Didn't use it, but it's available.
- Taxi service: Yep.
The Good, the Bad, and the Slightly Soggy:
The Good:
- Wide Variety of Dining Options
- Pool & Spa are pretty good
- Convenient location.
- They follow the COVID protocols
The Bad:
- Wifi Issues!
- The buffet can be hit or miss.
- Some areas feel a little dated.
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Maybe. For a quick getaway, absolutely. Mostly, the whole experience was fine. Just make sure your expectations are realistic. Don't go expecting a tropical paradise, and you won't be disappointed. And for heaven's sake, don’t overdo it at the buffet!
SEO & Metadata Stuff (because, you know, the internet):
- Title: Escape to Paradise? River Cree Resort & Casino Edmonton Review: Honest & Unfiltered!
- Meta Description: A hilarious (and brutally honest) review of the River Cree Resort & Casino in Edmonton. Learn about the food, the rooms, the spa, and whether it's actually a "paradise." Expect unfiltered opinions, real-life anecdotes, and the occasional typo.
- Keywords: River Cree Resort, Edmonton, Casino, Hotel Review, Travel, Alberta, Spa, Buffet, Pool, Honest Review, Family-friendly, Restaurants, Accessibility, Things to do.
- H Tags:
- H1: Escape to Paradise? River Cree Resort & Casino, Edmonton: A Honest (and Slightly Chaotic) Review!
- H2: The Hook: So, Paradise…?
- H2: Accessibility: Can You Roll With It?
- H2: Food Glorious Food (and the Occasional Bellyache) - Dining, Drinking, and Snacking:
- H2: Cleanliness and Safety: Did They Sanitize the Heck Out of Everything?
- H2: Things to Do (Besides Gambling):
- H2: Rooms: The Home Away From Home (or, Maybe, a Hotel Room)
- H2: Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter:
- H2: For the Kids: Family-Friendly or Just Tolerant?
- H2: Getting Around: Easy Peasy?
- H2: The Good, the Bad, and the Slightly Soggy:
- H2: The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
- H2: SEO & Metadata Stuff (because, you know, the internet):
Princeton's Hidden Gem: Quality Inn Review & Booking!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this is not your grandma's travel itinerary. This is a River Cree Resort and Casino Edmonton experience, brought to you by yours truly, and trust me, it's gonna be a wild ride.
Day 1: Arrival and the Illusion of Control (and Immediate Regret)
- 1:00 PM: Land of the Polar Bears (Edmonton International Airport). Touchdown! Or, in my case, a slightly wobbly landing after a flight that felt suspiciously like a metal tube hurtling through space. First impressions? It's…cold. Like, "I forgot my mittens and my soul is starting to freeze" cold. But hey, at least the baggage claim runs smoothly. Pats self on the back. I'm off to a good start!
- 2:00 PM: Check-in and the Promise of Luxury (River Cree). Okay, so the River Cree… it looks fancy. The lobby is all soaring ceilings and vaguely unsettling giant fish sculptures. I swear one of them winked at me. (Maybe I’m just tired? Oh God, am I already in the throes of jet lag?) Check-in was a breeze, though. The room? Spacious. The bed? Oh, the bed… it's calling my name. Must…resist…the urge…to nap… before the adventure even begins!
- 3:00 PM: Casino Reconnaissance and the Allure of Shiny Things. Right, gotta get the lay of the land. Casino time! Deep breath. Okay, don’t be that person who spends their entire trip glued to a slot machine. I told myself this. I repeat this to myself. The flashing lights… they're mesmerizing. Someone just won a jackpot. I swear, I could feel the envy radiating off of everyone. Maybe I’ll just put in twenty…
- 4:00 PM: The Burger That Saved My Soul (Tap 25). Okay, so I had a legit existential moment staring at the menu. Too many choices! My brain felt like a scrambled egg. I ordered a burger, and it was…perfect. Juicy, with all the right fixings. A moment of pure, unadulterated joy. Food…it's the answer, right?
- 5:00 PM: Poolside Bliss (or, Attempted Bliss). The pool area is… well, let’s just say it’s where the "resort" part of "resort and casino" really shines. I bravely attempted a dip in the "heated" pool (felt lukewarm, if I’m honest). The little kids were shrieking with delight. I just felt slightly chilled and a little like I should have brought a towel. Still, it's kind of lovely. Maybe I'll just sit here and watch the sunset…
- 6:00 PM: Casino Gamble (and Regret). C'mon, it's just a little fun, right? Yeah, right. The blackjack table… it’s a monster. The dealer is eerily good. My winning streak? Nonexistent. I lost more than I'd planned. Okay, lesson learned. Must…resist…
- 8:00 PM: Dinner and the Search for Something Culturally Relevant (The Buffet). The buffet. Oh, the buffet. It’s a land of endless choices, mostly of the "beige food group" variety. I loaded up on everything (because, buffet!), and somehow ended up feeling both incredibly full and oddly unsatisfied. I think I need to find some truly culturally relevant food.
- 9:30 PM: The Slot Machine's Siren Song (and the End of Day 1). One last try at the slots. Just a little… Insert eye roll here. Lost again. But hey, at least I got some free drinks. Hic…Bedtime.
Day 2: Recovery, Resilience, and the Allure of the Small Wins
- 9:00 AM: Regrettable Sunrise and Coffee. Woke up with a pounding headache and a faint memory of a late-night karaoke performance (mortifying, even if no one remembers it). The coffee is strong, and the light in Edmonton is…well, it's not exactly Mediterranean. I'm just here to feel alive.
- 10:00 AM: Fitness Center Fiasco Attempted to hit up the gym. The treadmill? Terrifying. I think it’s set at a speed meant to traumatize. Gave up after five minutes. Note to self: cardio is not a priority on this trip.
- 11:00 AM: Spa-ing and Rejuvenation. Finally, something to look forward to. I had a massage booked! Ah, the spa! Soft music, gentle hands…pure bliss. I could get used to this. Maybe I should just move in.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch and a Deep Dive (The Buffet Pt. 2). Okay, I really should branch out. But the buffet is there again. Did you see the dessert selection? That chocolate fountain… it's calling my name. I’ll try the sushi this time.
- 1:00 PM: Ice Skating and a Spectacular Fall! Edmonton has a cool ice rink. I tried ice skating. I’m a complete disaster. I fell. I fell hard. Humiliating. People laughed. I’ll tell you what, I got up and kept trying. That’s resilience. I’m pretty proud.
- 2:00 PM: Casino - The Comeback (Maybe?). Back to the tables. A little more strategic this time. It pays off. I’m a winner! A small win, but a win. I may not be rich, but I'm a champion. Cue the imaginary fanfare.
- 4:00 PM: Shopping and Souvenir Snagging I did it! I got a souvenir! A keychain in the shape of the Edmonton Oilers logo. I feel accomplished.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner and a Show. There’s a live music venue. I’ll see what they have playing. The music is okay. I’m really enjoying the company of my own thoughts, if I’m honest.
- 7:00 PM: Casino. Back to the casino! I’m on a roll. This trip is looking up.
- 8:00 PM: Stargazing I decided to take a walk around the resort, and I got to see the night sky. So many stars! Edmonton sky is surprisingly pretty.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime (or, the Lure of the Late-Night Snack). I have to sleep. Maybe after a midnight snack.
Day 3: Departure and the Promise of a (Slightly) Less Reckless Future
- 9:00 AM: Farewell Breakfast (and a Final Buffet Attempt). One last push at the buffet. Filled up one last time.
- 10:00 AM: Check-out and the Realisation That My Bank Account Will Never Be the Same. Okay, time to go. I look at my bill. Oops. Lesson learned about budgeting.
- 11:00 AM: Edmonton International Airport and the Sad Reality of Leaving. Driving back to the airport. The airport looks good.
- 12:00 PM: Flying home. I did it. Edmonton and the River Cree… It’s been real.
Reflections:
- The Casino: It’s a trap. A glittering, seductive, and slightly soul-crushing trap.
- The Food: Some gems (that burger!), but mostly… well, it’s a buffet.
- The People: Friendly, polite, and generally upstanding. Edmonton is a friendly city.
- The Lessons Learned: Moderation is key. The importance of a good burger. Pack warmer clothes.
- Would I go back? Absolutely. Partly because of the amazing spa, and partly because I have a feeling I owe that casino a rematch. I’ll be back… just give me a little time to save up.
Escape to Paradise: River Cree Resort & Casino - Edmonton Awaits! ...Or Does It? (A Messy FAQ)
Okay, so, River Cree... Is it actually "paradise"? Like, seriously?
Alright, alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Paradise? Maybe... on a Tuesday afternoon, when you've just snagged a winning hand in poker and the buffet is stocked with that amazing prime rib. But let's be real, sometimes it's more like "slightly elevated Edmonton." Look, River Cree *tries*. The lobby is all sparkly and the river view rooms... well, the *idea* of a river view room is lovely. (More on that later, the "view" is debatable.)
I mean, the *promise* of paradise is definitely there. You get the whole casino glitz, the fancy restaurants... but sometimes it's like the paint is *just* a little too thinly applied. You know what I mean? Still, potential, always potential!
What's the deal with the casino? Good times or a money pit disguised as fun?
The casino... okay, *that's* where things get interesting. It's a classic casino experience, really. Slot machines that blink and beckon, the clatter of coins (or, you know, the *idea* of coins, now it's all tickets!), the hushed seriousness of the poker tables... Look, I've had *great* times in that casino. Once, I swear, I won enough at Blackjack to buy a small used car. (Okay, maybe a very *small* used car and some lottery tickets.)
But let's also talk about the times I... didn't. The times when the slots ate my money faster than a politician at a free buffet. The times I swore I saw the dealer's eyes gleam with pure, unadulterated glee as he dealt me a particularly awful hand. It's gambling, folks. What can I say? It's a gamble. A gamble *with* entertainment. And let's be honest, the people-watching alone is worth the price of admission. There is always *that* guy, you know the one. The one talking to the slot machine like it's his best friend. That never gets old.
The rooms... Give me the *real* scoop. Is it "luxury," or "slightly above a Motel 6"?
Oh, the rooms... where do I *even* begin? Okay, so here's the thing. Some of the rooms, particularly the suites... *they* are pretty darn nice. Big, comfy beds, maybe a fireplace, decent views... if you get the right angle. (Remember that "river view" comment? Yeah, sometimes it's more "golf course adjacent.")
But then... there are the *other* rooms. The ones where you can *hear* the people in the hallway breathing. The sound of the ice machine is definitely a feature, not a perk. I've had a room once with a *literal* light fixture falling off the ceiling. I swear, it took out a chunk of plaster! They fixed it, eventually, but still... it added a touch of "rustic charm." So, luxury? Maybe. Depends on your luck, the room you get, and the amount of wine you've drunk before you get there. Bring earplugs, honestly.
Food. Let's talk food. Is the buffet worth the hype (and the inevitable food coma)?
Ah, the buffet. The *beating heart* of any casino experience, isn't it? Listen, I'm a sucker for a good buffet. The sheer quantity, the *possibilities*… it's a siren song I can't resist. River Cree's buffet? It's... it's *a buffet*. There are the usual suspects: prime rib, which can be amazing on a good day (and like shoe leather on a bad one), the endless shrimp, the desserts that are so tempting. (I once consumed, and I am not proud of this, a *mountain* of cheesecake. It was… glorious, and then I spent the next three hours regretting every bite.)
Here's the thing: buffets are a gamble in themselves. They're a crapshoot. Some days are legendary; some... are not. Go with an open mind, a big appetite, and maybe a Pepcid AC in your pocket. And for the love of all that is holy, pace yourself. That food coma will hit harder than you think.
What about the other things to do? Besides gambling and eating until you can't move?
Okay, okay, so maybe you're not a gambling fiend, or maybe you've already eaten your weight in cheesecake. River Cree has other options! There's a golf course. I've tried to golf there. Let's just say my balls (golf balls, people, get your minds out of the gutter!) often ended up in the water hazards. There's a spa, which is supposed to be quite lovely (I've always been too busy gambling and eating to investigate). There's the "movie theatre" - which, from experience, is also just fine, not spectacular. You can catch a show. The variety of entertainment is usually fair. It’s Edmonton, after all. You might find things on the edges of great.
Honestly? Sometimes, just wandering around the resort, people-watching, soaking up the bright lights and vaguely smoky air... that can be entertainment enough. Especially after a few... well, a few drinks. It's a whole *vibe*.
Any embarrassing moments you'd be willing to share? You know, for the sake of education...
Oh, honey, do I have stories? This is where it gets *really* messy. Let's see... There was the time I thought I was *killing* it at the poker table, bluffed like a champion, and then realized I was playing with the wrong chips. The *small* chips instead of the big ones. Cue mortified silence and a swift exit. Embarrassing? Oh, you betcha.
Or the time I ordered room service at 3 AM, after a particularly harrowing blackjack session, and managed to spill half a bowl of soup all over myself. Good thing I only ordered a simple soup and a sandwich. What a disaster. The staff was very polite, though.
And then there was the incident with the *water slide*. No, not the one at the resort. The one *near* the resort (you know, in the area). Let's just say, gravity and a slightly overzealous approach to the "fun" factor resulted in a spectacular, face-first landing. Let's just stick a bandage on the memory.
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